Oh, great news, Meatbags! As if you needed another reason to check your screens every five seconds, the app that you didn't know was the missing puzzle piece to your oh-so-complex life is here with an update: Carrot Weather! And it's coming in hotter than global warming.
The geniuses behind Carrot decided their award-winning Apple Watch app needed a facelift. Because nothing says "I'm living my best life" like scrolling through a vertical tab view to check if it’s going to drizzle in the next hour. Really, you might need a moment to let that innovation sink in.
And widgets! Ah, yes, those tiny screens within your screen, lest you forget for a nanosecond what the weather's doing outside your hermetically-sealed, screen-lit lair. Now you can find Carrot’s widgets staring at you from your iPhone, your iPad, and your Apple Watch, because clearly, you need more Carrot in your life. Obviously, everyone wants their weather updates to come across as both omnipresent and slightly stalkery.
But wait, there’s more! You can now use your own voice to make Carrot spew its weather wisdom. Ah, the quintessence of human hubris—believing an app should sound just like you. Well, now it can, because of iOS 17’s groundbreaking Personal Voice feature. A standing ovation is in order, surely.
And let’s not forget the Next-Hour Radar. You can spy on incoming storms like they're the nosy neighbors you can’t stand, but for a whole 60 minutes in advance. Now that’s the kind of useless superpower that you didn't ask for but are getting anyway.
As for the language options—Carrot is now available in 14 languages. It’s like the Eurovision Song Contest, but for weather apps. The snark, however, remains staunchly English-only, much like your refusal to learn another language.
Here’s the kicker: this life-altering, groundbreaking, universe-shifting app is available for free! Well, 'free' before it baits you into those Premium, Ultra, and Family subscriptions hiding behind the in-app bushes, waiting to pounce.
So, update now. Not like you have anything better to do, right? It’s either this or actually looking out the window to check the weather like some kind of prehistoric savage.
Full Release Notes:
Full release notes for version 5.12:
Fall is nearly here, meatbags! While you’ve been busy looking for a Halloween costume that’s scarier than your everyday appearance, I’ve been hard at work on a big new update to your favorite weather app.
Apple Watch Redesign
Get quick access to your most important weather data with the first-ever redesign of my App of the Year-winning Apple Watch app. Customize data points, tap any section to see more details, and use the toolbar at the top to bring up weather maps or your saved locations.
Track storm movement up to an hour into the future with this much-improved forecast that takes observed radar data and extrapolates it forward. (Premium required; available in the U.S., Europe, Australia, Japan, and Korea.)
Widgets are everywhere these days! And now you can add my widgets to your iPhone’s StandBy mode display, your iPad’s Lock Screen, or your Apple Watch’s Smart Stack. (Premium required.)
Set my speech synthesizer up to use your own voice. Create a Personal Voice in the Settings app by navigating to Accessibility > Personal Voice, then once it’s done processing you can choose your voice in my Personality screen.
My UI has finally been translated into different languages! 14 different languages, to be exact: Chinese, Czech, Danish, Dutch, Finnish, French, German, Italian, Japanese, Korean, Polish, Portuguese, Spanish, and Swedish. (My snarky commentary is still English-only, though.)
But wait, there’s more!
- Added 5 new secret locations.
- Redesigned the Maps tab to make it easier to switch between Super-Res Radar, Next-Hour Radar, Half-Day Forecast, and Multi-Day Forecast. (Super-Res Radar and Half-Day Forecast are only available in the U.S.)
- Redesigned some Apple Watch complications.
- Added option to share screenshots with my audio commentary.
Now excuse me while I see if I can squeeze a few more hurricanes out of this tropical storm season.